Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
