he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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