He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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