You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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