Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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