he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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