i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
