I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
