Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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