I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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