god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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