I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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