This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't deserve a penis
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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