Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it was like eating out sand paper
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
