Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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