I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
