I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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