i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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