apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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