Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
