I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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