You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
tequila makes me forget i have legs
organizing the empties. That sober.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
