i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
