Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
