Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
