I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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