Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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