i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
