It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
