OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize