its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
