Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
