Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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