How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My dick has a subreddit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
