ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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