The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize