CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
