69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
