your parents love me but you hate me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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