hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
