She's JV to your varsity
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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