Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
