it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
