I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
