I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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