weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
