I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
