I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize