So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
