Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
