I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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