Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
