everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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