i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
