Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
