I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
