just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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