It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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