Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she looked like the before picture.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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