no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
