youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize