Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
