Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
