My hand turned me down
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
