thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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