I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
