last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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