I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
