Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
