Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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