Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
