Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
