fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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