he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
