We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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